Is God's Will Worth the Wait to You? (Part 5)

How Do You Know If You’ve Broken Your Alabaster Box & Poured Out Your Worship at the Feet of Jesus?

It is reflected in your RECKLESS ABANDONMENT to His Lordship, your ABANDONED WORSHIP to Him.  When you surrender ALL & withhold nothing.  So when the Lord gives you another difficult assignment like your cycle keeps showing up month after month, or another dateless month while you’re waiting on your husband…you STILL receive His terms WITHOUT RESENTMENT.  Your attitude will reflect Mary’s response of “Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word…” (Luke 1:38). Now my attitude has changed & I don’t resent those barren years any more.  He has given me purpose for that time, beauty for ashes, made my little, weak faith stand up to a KNOWING that His Will IS Worth the Wait!

He has caused me to ABANDON myself, lean NOT to my own understanding…When I humbled myself, laid down ALL that I had & WORSHIPED Him in the beauty of HOLINESS, the gifts of the Spirit of God began to flow.

NoLongerBarren, this is a check point for you to answer these questions for yourself.  Some of you may see that you HAVE abandoned ALL & poured out your worship.  Others, may have found that you’re still holding on to something.  JUST DON’T LIE TO YOURSELF.  I thought I was finished with this series, but God gave me more…so come back for (Part 6).  He has something more to say about ABANDONED Worship.


I choose to believe that I am going to bear a child from my own eggs, womb & husband, and I choose this because of the Voice of Truth!

Is God’s Will Worth the Wait to You? (Part 4)

Have You Broken Your Alabaster Box?

As of Oct 2013, my Alabaster Box has been broken at the feet of Jesus!  At this time last year, God did something He didn’t have to do, but He knew just what I needed to push forward.  He sent an angel to me in a dream & showed me a part of my story.  He told me that I would have a daughter & to name her a name that means “a vision”.   He then impregnated me with a 2-fold vision.  NoLongerBarren, I know this may sound strange to you, but for those of us who are in relationship with the Lord (especially those who have the gift of dreams & visions), you understand exactly where I’m coming from.  God interpreted this dream to me & led me to a book that interpreted the dream the same (Sing O’Barren by Sarah Morgan).  It was written by a woman whose ministry is called Women of Vision, a sub-ministry under a church called Vision International Ministries.  God took me in His word & showed me through the testimony of Job & Jacob, how I wrestled with Him.

He kept showing me the number 22, which means LIGHT (The number 22 is very significant to me & my testimony. Howbeit that my empty womb, with fibroid growths, always reaches the size of a 22-week pregnancy).  And just how Jacob wrestled with Him until the breaking of dayLIGHT & God changed his name & blessed him…on the 22nd day from the dream (my breaking of dayLIGHT), God changed my name to NO LONGER BARREN & blessed me!  Had He not done this new thing in me, I might not be confessing these things today… may not exist…because before then, I don’t believe that I had given Him my ABANDONED WORSHIP.  I gave what I knew to give & it was as real as I could give for that time…but He had to reach into my dark place. The place where DOUBT hid, where SHAME & DEFEAT had posted up comfortable & He had to shift something within me!  It was ONLY then, could I break my Alabaster Box & pour out what was worth the most to me.

In case you haven’t figured out my answer to the question…Is God’s Will Worth the Wait to Me?  My mouth & my heart answer today in POWERFUL AGREEMENT, Yes!  It’s worth the box, the oil, the dream…What He has & what He’s planned, really there’s no measure, no worth that I can stack against it.  But in our natural status, we will & we do.  And then we make decisions based on that.

Well, NoLongerBarren, now that it’s been established that I’ve broken my Alabaster Box at the feet of Jesus & poured out my worship…HAVE YOU?  How do you know?  Come back for (Part 5) & we’ll establish if you’ve poured out ALL that you have.


I choose to believe that I am going to bear a child from my own eggs, womb & husband, and I choose this because of the Voice of Truth!


Is God’s Will Worth the Wait to You? (Part 3)

What’s In Your Alabaster Box?

As I thought back to when I was a little girl, I dreamed about one day meeting my Prince Charming. We would get married & live happily ever after with three kids, each child well spaced with 3+years between them. But as I dug in deep & searched out the answer, God began to remind me of the other things that were in my Alabaster Box. I also had FEAR, RESENTMENT & DOUBT in my box, from a long-time EMPTY WOMB. You might be thinking, now why would those horrible things be in your Alabaster Box? How could FEAR, RESENTMENT & DOUBT be precious & valuable? Because you must understand the barren woman…after trying & trying & failing to conceive…month after month, year after year…FEAR, RESENTMENT & DOUBT will begin to seem more faithful to you than the promise. FEAR, RESENTMENT & DOUBT keeps me from surrendering ALL to God & the unknown…my safety blanket…my just in case… They had become MY familiar place. And I believed I was entitled to feel this way, so they had some WORTH to me, and I guarded them close!

So now as I have held onto my Alabaster Box, it’s VALUE & IMPORTANCE increasing with time (because it becomes more urgent to get pregnant at 36, than it was at 27). WITH A 9-YEAR MARRIAGE & EMPTY WOMB…I find myself WAITING…Is He worth the wait to me?…Can I break that precious Alabaster Box at His feet & yield to His leading?…Can I surrender ALL…Can I just trust Him…Can I break what is MOST dear to me for His honor? My Lord, who broke what was most dear to Him when He broke His son for my salvation…can I do this??? I’m talking about my sacrifice, that’s not going to save humanity like His did, but it’s going to save me from myself! Is it worth the wait to me?

If I was asked this question prior to Oct 2013, my mouth would have given the politically correct answer of “Yes, He’s worth the wait to me!” But if my heart could have had it’s say, you would have heard…“Why do I have to wait…ALL the ladies I know who are my age have teens & graduates…Why do I have to be the 45 & 55 year old with the school aged children…Why?” But remember, NoLongerBarren, when Mary gave what was most precious & valuable to her, it was a statement of COMPLETE love, devotion, submission, & obedience. How can I make this same statement until I give the very last thing in barrenness that has seemed most familiar faithful?

NoLongerBarren, we’re almost there. Stay tuned for (Part 4) to see what God does & to see if I’ve [you’ve] broken my [your] Alabaster Box at His feet.

No Weapon Pic1

I choose to believe that I am going to bear a child from my own eggs, womb & husband, and I choose this because of the Voice of Truth!

Is God’s Will Worth the Wait to You? (Part 2)


To show the significance of this particular story to the NoLongerBarren, it is necessary to further establish the WORTH of the Alabaster Box. The Alabaster Box is described as a long-necked bottle made from a special variety of marble, a material which proved to be the best container for preserving EXPENSIVE perfumes & oils. Also, the book of Mark sets its VALUE at “more than 300 denarii”, nearly a YEAR’S WAGES. Now, let’s put this into perspective…Mary’s Alabaster box…set aside for and AWAITING the man who would ask to marry her…its VALUE approximately a year’s salary (modern day average value +/- $50,000. Even at minimum wage its value would be more than $15,000).

Now do you have a better idea of how PRECIOUS, how EXPENSIVE, how much of a SACRIFICE this was for her? Even at these amounts, you must still add the EXPENSE of TIME…making the WORTH of her Alabaster Box much, much more. Is God’s Will Worth the Wait to You?Before we answer this question, let’s make this PERSONAL. Let’s establish WHAT’S IN OUR ALABASTER BOX OF DREAMS? What is most PRECIOUS, most DEAR, what has great WORTH to you…to me?

Dig deep for this one, NoLongerBarren & then come back for (Part3)…this may put you on the verge of a breakthrough & an OPEN WOMB. It did for me. You’ll be surprised just what you learn about yourself & if you’ve broken your Alabaster Box at the feet of Jesus.


I choose to believe that I am going to bear a child from my own eggs, womb & husband, and I choose this because of the Voice of Truth!

Is God’s Will Worth the Wait to You? (Part 1)

In the days Jesus was on earth, when a young woman reached the age of availability for marriage, her family would purchase an alabaster box for her and fill it with precious ointment. The size of the box and the value of the ointment would parallel her family’s wealth. This alabaster box would be part of her dowry. When a young man came to ask for her in marriage, she would respond by taking the alabaster box and breaking it at his feet. This gesture of anointing his feet showed him honor (

In John 12:1-8, Mary (sister of Lazarus & Martha) treated Jesus as the Bridegroom He is, as the HUSBAND.  She responded to the Heavenly Bridegroom’s proposal of marriage to the church by breaking her dowry at His feet & honoring Him.  He responded as the Bridegroom receiving His bride’s adoration & worship.  Can you see the cost, the worth, the expense of time & value? When she broke her alabaster box, she deemed Him worthy & not only worth the wait, but worth ALL that she had. Mary’s giving of her very own dowry was a statement of complete love & devotion & submission & obedience.

What does this have to do with you & me NoLongerBarren?              Stay tuned for Part 2.


I choose to believe that I am going to bear a child from my own eggs, womb & husband, and I choose this because of the Voice of Truth!

She Judged Him Faithful

Hebrews 11 lists many who accomplished things in God through faith. The one that is most relevant here is in verse 11, Through faith also Sara herself received strength to conceive seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age, because SHE JUDGED HIM FAITHFUL who had promised.

Just like with Sarah, God made a promise to me…have I judged Him faithful? Only now & in the last several months can I honestly answer “YES”.



I choose to believe that I am going to bear a child from my own eggs, womb & husband, and I choose this because of the Voice of Truth!